Who I Am

Who I Am

I am darkness and light.

I am perfect and imperfect.

I am shy and outgoing.

I am music and silence.

I am joy and sadness.

I am saved. And I am a sinner.

I am weak and strong.

I am courage and fear.

I am love and hatred.

I am judgment and grace.

I am selfless and selfish.

I am human.

And when I acknowledge, embrace and integrate all that I am,

Instead of denying, hiding, covering, or running,

I am me. All of me.

(copyright 2015 Gayle Gresham)

The Sun, Me and Vitamin D

Sunrise from my home

We had a wet, cold, cloudy, dreary late spring and early summer here in Colorado. In May, we had 14 inches of rain – a far cry from our normal 2.13 inches. Now, I am not complaining. After years of drought and fires, the green grass and full ponds are so refreshing.

However, this was the time when depression came upon me full force.

I could feel the weight of depression descend upon me on a cloudy, rainy day. And, I could feel it lift when I walked outside into the sunlight on a sunny day.

I began taking a 45 minute walk every day the sun was shining. As it warmed up, I wore shorts and a tank top. I could instantly feel a change in how I felt as the sun’s rays hit my skin. And I began spending more time outside just to feel better.

At the end of June, I had my appointment with my family doctor. One of the tests she ran was on my vitamin D level, which came back low. She instructed me to increase my vitamin D intake with supplements. Which I have done.

What amazes me is the difference I can tell since I significantly increased my vitamin D intake. Although I still like walking in the sunshine, I don’t have the sensation of needing to soak it in to feel better. I feel better anyway.

If you are feeling depressed, be sure to consult your doctor and ask to have your vitamin D level checked. It sure made a difference for me!

To Take Medication or Not Take Medication

When I first shared on Facebook about my depression, I was not prepared for the explosion of comments with a fiery debate over whether I should take medication or not. People either knew someone who did not get help or medication and committed suicide or they knew someone who took medication and committed suicide. One friend shared her experience where medication made all the difference in the world for her and others shared the dangers of medication.

This is a topic I discussed thoroughly with my therapist in our first session. I am not opposed to taking a medication; however, I have severe allergies to many antibiotics and medications. This puts medication on a ‘let’s see how it goes with therapy first and no medication’ basis.

I have an appointment with my general practitioner coming up to talk about the depression and anxiety. She will also consult with my therapist. I trust both of their judgement.

Increasing my exercise, eating well, sleeping well and taking vitamins and supplements have helped. I am taking a Vitamin B complex, magnesium, selenium and Vitamin D.